Thread:Professional Tea Drinker/@comment-26821421-20161007214624/@comment-28428610-20161009073842

Pretty good, might want to consult Lurk on the war between 14th & 15th dimensional beings, and you might want to add more detail on how she is in the undertale universe and a bit more of an understandable and strong structure for her. But apart from that, it's very good, I'd reccomend instead of the war between 14th and 25th dimensional beings, you might wanna say that after iso, penta, the prison gang took over your area, you had that personality change. But yeah, consult Lurk, or MysteriousTriangleGuy as his username is <3